Apr 23, 2012


The DWTS field has been whittled down to eight, and I’m beginning to feel like those pregnant woman who walk around the mall (the ones that are 7 months pregnant but look more like 10) who just want that parasite ripped out because things have turned from cute to uncomfortable! Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. I did however watch the show stone sober…until the last 15 minutes (group dances/battles make me shudder! I had to!).

Motown legends were on hand to deliver crowd pleasing live vocals, yet one thing didn’t escape my eyes. Were the producers hoping to book Tina Turner because it seemed like they tried to squeeze Martha Reeves in one of her old tour dresses! 2 words: Sausage Casing! Let’s get to the dancing…

Gladys led the night off with the rumba. Sherri Shepard must have been elbow deep in a bowl of Edy’s ice cream when the spoon dropped and Jeffrey ran for cover as she watched Gladys sashay in her best “My Girl” wig. She knew her luggage felt a little light! There were so many missteps in the performance, and it seemed like Ms. Knight couldn’t keep up with the beat, BUT you could tell she was having FUN! Although she smiled through her entire performance, and tossed that right hamhock high, she still garnered the lowest score of the night. 21.

I blame Martha’s extra medium spandex and tight ass dress for making her voice crack. It was to the point of Maria getting so close to the stage that she tripped on the stairs during her performance! I will give Maria huge props for a fabulous recovery. Most of the competitors who have flubbed during their numbers can’t seem to get back on the choreography, but Ms. Menunous got right back into it! 26

Roshon was up next with the Rumba. This is when age really shows. The rumba is a sensuous, graceful dance with fluid movement. This kid was going way too fast and jerking his poor partner around. He should take a chunk of his weekly stipend and hire a “professional” to help him release that pent up frustration and ease him into manhood (Ya’ll know what I’m talking about). 23

I know people are tired of me singing the praises of Katherine, but she keeps delivering! Her samba was nearly flawless, and she looked like she was having the time of her life. Once again, she was just one point shy of a perfect score. 29

There is a batch of crazy hidden behind the eyes and millions of straight white teeth in the head of Donald, and it’s showing up more and more each week. It peered it’s head when he lost his footing during his foxtrot, and he glared over to the judges table with a look that read, “ya’ll ain’t see nothing!” Needless to say, he is a good dancer….please don’t kill me! 27

Melissa was given the Viennese Waltz. It was smooth overall but at times a little jerky. Her face looked like she was going through one of her final Lamaze classes. Her partner needs to teach her how to properly breath before we have another Marie Osmond episode this season! 24

JALEEL IS BACK! I am so happy for him. He began the season so strong and I called him out as the one to beat. I hate looking like a liar, so he must have read my blog and decided it was time to get back to the basics and dance! I’ve had moments in life where I’ve been performing and I have felt so confident that I don’t need to think about the next step, everything just flows. Jaleel was having one of those moments with his fox trot. His dance was the only one I rewound to watch again. He deserved a 30, but fell one point shy with a 29. Welcome back.

Last, but never least, was William with his rumba. He may have bags under his eyes like he lives on two hours of sleep a night, but the man is still F.I.N.E.! How does a mere mortal have the body of a superhero? If he came out and did 30 seconds of the “running man” with his shirt off, I’d still give him a 10! His partner, Cheryl, played up the raunch factor and gave some of the most uncomfortable “f$#k faces” during the performance which costs them some points (and my dinner to climb up to my throat). He still scored a 27, and he is still F.I.N.E.!

I have a feeling that Ms. Knight might have shoobied her last doo during Motown week, but it’s anybody’s game!