Nov 14, 2011


The church bells rang in Munchkinland last Tuesday night.  Ding, Dong the witch was, “Boom, B*%ch, Bye!” as voters decided they had to cut the pork out of their diets.  But I can’t help but wonder, “Is there a new Queen trying to claw her way to the top?”  Did Maks lend Hope his digitally remastered copy of Showgirls with a note that read, “See you on the stage….Nomi (wink, wink).”

It’s the Semi-finals, and this week they are having the contestants dance THREE routines.  A two hour show isn’t a necessity every week, but when you have ratings gold, you keep mining away!

Hope Solo:  The producers decided to put her first because we’re all thinking the same thing, “Let’s just get it over with!”  Her first dance was the Paso Doble.  I thought I was watching a step show by two frat brothers. It was stomp after stomp after stomp!  BUT, Hope redeemed herself with her second dance of the night, the Argentine Tango.  It had flexibility, grace, and athleticism.  It was like watching “The Crying Game” before the BIG reveal.

J.R. Martinez:  A devastating injury in practice on Saturday debilitated the front runner of the competition, but even with a severely sprained ankle, J.R. pushed through the pain.  During his Paso Doble, you could see the anguish in his face, but this man’s worse is still better than other’s best!  I felt as though the judges underscored him with 7’s and 8’s.  Good thing there was a second dance tonight because his Argentine Tango silenced any doubts that he was down and out!  The voters need to make sure that he gets to the finals next week because he truly deserves to be there!

Rob Kardashian:  There must be a clause in his contract that read, “Look dude, nobody expects you to get far, but if you do here’s a million bucks!”  There is a new found confidence and spark in this young man!  Both his Samba and Argentine Tango were crowd pleasers.  Finally, a Kardashian with some true talent!

Ricki Lake:  You’ve come a long way, baby!  If you look at the timeline of this show, you will see that not only has she improved at a steady incline, but she has also slimmed down in a noticeable way!  She didn’t go all crazy with weird “Scientology Secret” diet food like Kirstie Alley, so the moderate change is very flattering.  Her Samba was solid (work on the booty shaking, Ricki! Use the goods you were given!) but not spectacular. The judges loved it and gave her a perfect score.  Her Argentine Tango, in my opinion, was perfect.  They’ll be no surprise when her name is the first called to be in the finals.

There was a group Samba at the end.  I despise the group dances.  There’s no need for me to critique them.

Tonight the finalist will be revealed. Will your favorite be that much closer to the top?  Tune into to ABC for the results.