Everybody’s favorite train-wrecks returned to TV this week! Both the cast of Jersey Shore, trading Seaside for a little G-T-L in Italy, and the new cast of Bachelor Pad, comprised of ex-Bachelor/ Bachelorette cast-offs, hit the small screen this week. Anyone who watched the Season 4 and Season 2 premieres respectively, might have had the ‘been there done that’ moment of recognition…wondering, haven’t I seen this non-sense all before?
The answer is Yes…well, and no, but certainly, I wasn’t going to step away just in case I missed some good drama!
Florence first…We find ourselves arriving in Italy with the usual suspects- Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley, Sammi ‘Sweetheart’ Giancola, Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi (anyone noticing a nickname pattern here?) Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, and DJ Pauly D. A few traveling mishaps and one too many suitcases later, the crew arrived to the house (boys first)…and by house we mean mini-mansion equipped with an in-door jacuzzi complete with sculptures of cherrubs, but somehow an inconvenient number of beds per room (leaving Deena to bunk with the boys).
There are the critical culture shock issues- hair dryers blowing poorly converted outlets, disobeyed traffic laws in an attempt to find food, and a shockingly long trip to the nearest tanning bed and gym. Then of course it’s off to the club, where the language barrier doesn’t stop our gang from finding Italy’s finest guys/gals who are DTF. If anyone else felt like they were back in Jersey (just with better scenery and prettier accents) you were not alone. Of course, we were left with a big cliffhanger…The Situation stirring up trouble with a surprise crush and the not-so-single Snooki. It seems like fans should prepare for the usual roller coaster ride of hookups, fist-fights, and overseas shennanigans sure to leave The Boot (per Snooki’s geography) wishing Vinny had never kissed it’s foreign soil.
Back in the bachelor pad, the men and woman of recent seasons who did not find ‘the one’ came together to back-stab, berate, and blindly attempt to fall in love, all while competing for a $250K. With too many cast members to name and three hours of compelling drama (including spoiler alert, Jake gives ex-fiance Vienna a rose)…how could one not Tivo this gem and avoid commercials for the next season of its parent show The Bachelor.
The pad saw the return of colorful characters- an overwhelming number from Jake’s Bachelor and Ali’s Bachelorette seasons- including Jake ‘the pilot’ himself, Justin the two-timing wrestler, Casey whose creepy tattoo is now there to ‘guard and protect’ Vienna’s heart, must I go on… The same basic rules apply, guys vote off girls and vice versa. The first couples’ challenge dubbed “Hook Up” included some awkward alliances and an alarming number of beds, harnesses, and cirque du soleil-like balancing acts (but all in the name of competition of course!). The challenge barely wrapped before the politicking and contradictory statements began flying, including Vienna’s pledge to have Casey’s babies followed by her statements that she is there solely for the $$$. Who would have guessed! Once again, I feel like I have seen this group of split-personality misfits before but I just can’t change the channel in case something REALLY crazy happens.
Long story short, reality TV fails to bring anything new but it delivers exactly what you are looking for, again and again!