Mar 5, 2012


It’s the night the Bachelor fans have been waiting for…No, not Ben’s proposal, but the night with the most drama of the season- The Women Tell All.  All the women Ben didn’t choose get together in one room to confront him, each other, and in a first-time ever twist, one of the final and most controversial contestants, Courtney.

Enter Chris Harrison with the stunning news that Courtney is backstage and will be brought out and given the chance to defend herself later in the show.  But first, we start with an obvious marketing tactic for a possible third season of Bachelor Pad (you know the spin-off show where past contestants share a house Real World-style and compete for money while swapping spit, among other things!) Even though every season of The Bachelor/Bachelorette must come to an end, the booted contestants still get to relive their glory days at Bachelor reunions, the most recent being in Las Vegas. After a few fun party clips from this event, we are left with  a teaser/rumor that former Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky could be joining the next Bachelor Pad alongside the ‘one that got away’, Frank (he literally left her in the final weeks of her season to return home to his ex-girlfriend).  But really, right now, who cares? That’s so last season and we just want to see the women of this season go to town!

Blakely is first up on the defensive explaining why she didn’t try to make friends in the house but rather focused her attention on Ben. Despite being hurt by some of the cold-hearted slams that came her way, she does think she made some lasting friendships in the house and makes it clear she does not apologize for using her sexuality to her advantage. “I acted like myself in this situation and I will never apologize for being myself.” But I wish she would have apologized for that creepy scrap book she made in her final episode…still gives me  the chills!

Brittany was next up to explain why she left the house early. But not before getting into a shouting match with Samantha whom she called the “chihuahua of the house that never shuts up”. Favorite quote of the night. Anyway, Brittany’s explanation was that she just wasn’t at all attracted to Ben (dude could use a haircut!) and felt one of the girls who had a connection with him deserved to go on the one-on-one San Fran date. She was happy it ended up being Lindzi- so were we! Say hi to Grandma for us!

If at first you don’t succeed…try again! Chantel, the season party-crasher, was back to crash yet again. Chantel came on to defend her reasons for showing up unannounced at the house to win Ben’s heart despite not being a formal contestant. She confronted the women for the way they treated her. She said she knew she wouldn’t be embraced with open arms but she didn’t think the “ugly, wide hips, [email protected]#ch, who is she!?” comments were necessary. Though the women still didn’t agree with her presence, many of them did apologize for channeling Courtney in their unladylike behavior. However, they were quick to point out that  Chantel waltzed into the house ignoring them, instead of introducing herself and explaining why she was there…not exactly a good first impression. Still, Emily had the graciousness to ease Chantel’s insecurities by telling her you are clearly “stunning and gorgeous” so not to worry about the comments that flew in the heat of the moment.

Then we have the “lovely hip-hop epidemiologist” Emily herself take the hot seat. Despite having both brains and beauty, the complete package (as Chris Harrison pointed out) Emily could not win Ben’s heart. Emily says she wishes she took Nicki’s thinking on the whole Courtney issue- that her true colors would come out- because she feels that approaching Ben really put a “negative piece in our relationship” that they just couldn’t overcome. In the end, this bombshell was smart enough to know that she wouldn’t want to end up with a guy who could “fall for what Courtney had to offer” and she feels she learned a lot about herself. Personal growth and availability…sounds like a possible next Bachelorette to me?

Emily is a tough act to follow but class act Nicki was right behind her. Despite a heart-breaking goodbye, Nicki admits she has had a few months to regroup and is feeling more like her old cheerful self. She has nothing but good things to say about Ben but does have some questions for him as to why- when they were “so comfortable, easy, and natural together”- he sent her home. She gets her chance but first…

The most tearful exit (possibly in Bachelor history), America’s sweetheart Kaci B. Kaci talks about how she and Ben had a connection early on and how he kept reassuring her throughout that they were headed in the right direction. She admits to being completely blind-sided when he sent her home and barely remembering her farewell which is why she had to fly to Switzerland. So much was unanswered for her and she held out the smallest hope that Ben would see the error in his ways, but mostly, she wanted to be sure he didn’t end up with someone who would break his heart. Looking back, she says, “I hate to say it but the South is a different place,” and she thinks in the end it was her core values and family lifestyle that caused the sudden end for them. A definite contender to be the Bachelorette!

Chris Harrison gives the girls a few minutes to vent (a.k.a bash) Courtney before bringing her out. Sure, why not let the pot simmer and then add heat to the flame! The consensus is that what bothered the girls more than Courtney’s nasty behavior was the fact that she never apologized to them and only apologized to Ben in the final round when she felt her behavior could threaten her victory. Also, that she told Ben she tried to get to know the women which they unanimously felt was not the case…well almost unanimous (Kacey S. still defending).

Courtney comes out to a shit-storm of “pissed off women” as Harrison warns her, and she gets what she finally deserves. The black widow tries to spin a web of shallow defenses- “I was insecure, it was an unusual situation, girls were talking about me too, no one tried to get to know me”- you name it! In the end, the girls pointed out that they were all in the same boat but she is the only one who took it as far as she did for as long as she did. Courtney does break down with emotion and expresses her sincerest regret for her behavior. (Stress, her sincerest) She also admits that the tabloids have been relentless to her and her family, and she wishes she could go back and do everything differently. Because she feels bad or because she is upset she has been publicly humiliated? I couldn’t tell.

But…I must admit, I did feel bad for the girl. There is no question she is insecure and acted like a total [email protected]$ch, Brat, did I mention [email protected]$ch? Maybe she is only apologizing in hopes of keeping Ben (if she’s won) or to save herself and her family any additional embarrassment. Maybe she is soulless and doesn’t actually feel bad. But for a moment, call me a fool, I actually felt for her. In the end, she didn’t murder anyone! She’s not an evil person. She’s just a pathetic, lost girl who needs to learn a lot of shit about herself and how to treat others. Or a really, really good actress. But I bought her tears as truth, whether the apology was sincere or otherwise. No one wants to be the villain. Will the girls forgive and forget? Doubtful.

And now the main event! Ben. After a few vague responses to Jennifer, Emily, and Nicki about why he let them go…one thing is clear. Ben is terrible at letting girls down but all the women still think he is a great guy. “You are the best man I have ever come across in my whole life,” says Nicki, still wishing him the best.  Jamie takes it one step further saying that you never know how these Bachelor things will work out so that if it doesn’t end well with whomever he chooses, she is still interested!

We are left with a final recap of Ben’s relationship with Courtney and Lindzi and a glimpse at the final rose ceremony…uh hum… and ring! Stunner!

As the credits roll, one more lady gets put on the spot  (she thought she was going to get away!). Chris Harrison calls out Jenna for her meltdown early on.  Her rival Monica offers her a truce in the form of a “Will you accept this tampon” in reference to Jenna’s looney tunes “share a tampon” comment earlier this season.

Yep, tampons for roses. It doesn’t get much better than this!

Tune in next week to see who Ben chooses and if he proposes!